Prologue

The Judith Prosperous was docked at the port of San Montepaco, a large city that had everything a man could desire. Now after several months at sea, Skully One-Eye thought his crew deserved some well needed rest and relaxation.

"Lurg, tell the men that they can take shore leave for a few days," Skully told Lurg, as they sat in the captain's quarters, "Make sure that the treasure is divided up and the crew gets their fair share."

"Aye, Captain, anything else?"

"Nay, that be all Commander, dismissed."

"Aye sir!" Lurg stood up and saluted the Captain. Skully began to salute back, but his stump made for an awkward gesture.

"Argh, I told ya to stop saluting me, ya bastard, ya know I feel like a fool when I forget that me arm was cut off."

"Aye Captain. I'm sorry sir. It won't happen again," stated Lurg. He saluted again, turned and left Skully standing mid salute.

Damn him, thought Skully, he's always making me look like a fool.

Lurg smiled to himself as he headed up on deck. Its almost so easy its not fun anymore, he thought, Nay, its still fun. He climbed on deck and summoned the crew.

"All hands report! The Captain has granted us some shore leave, let's make the most of it. One at a time step forward to receive yer portion of the loot, yer gonna need it."

Once the treasure was divided, the crew headed into town. Hackin' Eve and Finale went to the Rodent's Den, a bar that featured the only live hamster death matches in the Caribbean. Condi went off to find a brothel, and Maximo tagged along with her, hoping to find another jackalope. Bella Dizzy the Bitter headed off to the lumber yard, knowing that she would be able to find a few Mexicans hoping to find work, and they would be willing to do anything for money. Lurg and Audra headed out to find some real food to eat, the groul served on board the Judith Prosperous daily was pretty bad. The remaining crew dispersed throughout the city, searching for either excitement, relaxation or both. Only Skully One-Eye remained on the ship.

"I need a drink," Skully said to himself, "And I really need to stop talking to myself."

Skully left the ship and headed out to find a bar that had large breasted wenches.

Skully arrived at the Twin Mountains Inn. This establishment featured wenches with the largest breasts in the area, hence the name. Skully sat down and ordered a drink.

"Two rums m'lady and keep them coming," said Skully when a serving wench approached him. He slapped her ass with his good hand as she walked past. "Ahhhh, tis good to relax for once."

Some time later, Skully was into his fourth round of rum, the door to the inn opened and a cloaked figure walked in and sat at the bar. After a short time, it stood up and walked over to Skully.

"You're Skully One-Eye right?" questioned the man.

"No, hic, I'm Skully One-Arm," replied a drunk Skully, holding up his stub, "Wait. Hic, I am Skully One-Eye. I always forget when I'm drinking."

"Let me buy you another drink, I'd love to hear the exploits of the great Skully One-Eye."

"Ah, good, hic, man. Wench, another round, on my good friend here," said Skully, reaching over to slap the man on the shoulder, but he only succeeded in falling out of his chair. "Oy, maybe two rounds, it appears I haven't lost me sea legs yet."

After listening to Skully for over two hours, the man held up his hand to silence him.

"Enough stories, I have something you might be interested in," said the man.

"Oh, and what might it be?" asked Skully leaning in and falling forward onto the table.

"A map, to the greatest treasure in the world."

"The greatest treasure? I like treasure."

"Aye, but you can't tell your crew what the treasure is, only tell them that it is the greatest treasure in the world, for this treasure is a single item, good for only one man. I think it is the prefect treasure for you, and I think you have the ability to get it."

"Tell me, what is the treasure?" asked Skully.

"It is a small empty jar, but whoever opens it, will control its power. With a simple incantation, you will be able to summon a --"

"Genie?" asked Skully.

"What?"

"I'll summon a genie."

"I think you may have had too many rums tonight Skully. Genies do not exist."

"Oy, I'm hardly drunk. I think you've had too many," said Skully as he fell backwards out of his chair. "Then what does it summon, ye haven't told me yet."

"I was getting to it. Again with a simple incantation, you will be able to summon a large breasted wench who will obey your every command, until you dismiss her, and every time you summon one, the wench will be different, you will never have the same wench twice."

"I want it," said Skully, "Give me the map."

"Aye, I'll give you the map Skully, but you must promise not to tell anyone where you got it, or what the treasure is."

"I give ye me pirate's oath," said Skully. "Oy, I need the incantation."

"Send me a wench to fulfill my desires. Good-bye Skully One-Eye."

Skully took the map and put it in his pocket. This is perfect thought Skully One-Eye, its been awhile since someone waxed me mast. Skully had just finished paying the bill when Bella Dizzy the Bitter stumbled into the inn.

"Skully!" she sobbed, "There weren't any Mexicans at the lumber yard."

"Oy, I'm sorry mate." Lucky bastards thought Skully, They don't know how lucky they are. "Bella Dizzy, you seem drunk."

"Aye, I was so upset that the Mexicans where gone that I drank a whole bottle of rum," she said, lifting a bottle of rum that appeared to have had only a few sips taken from it.

Oy, Bella could never hold her liquor, thought Skully.

"Let me buy ye a room in the inn to sleep it off, said Skully, taking Bella upstairs to put her to bed.

Skully left Bella Dizzy by the stairs and went to paid for a room, then he brought her to her room and opened the door. Once inside Bella Dizzy transformed from a drunken girl to a sex starved maniac. She ripped Skully's pants off and shoved him into the bed.

"Wait. Stop. Please," said Skully, tears forming in his eyes.

"No, Skully, I need this, its been a long time. Too long."

That night the entire inn was kept up by the sound of a bed banging against the wall, and by the sobs of Skully One-Eye as he was raped by Bella Dizzy the Bitter. The next morning Skully and Bella both pretended that it had not happened, just like they did every time Bella raped Skully, which had become a common occurrence whenever Bella Dizzy couldn't find Mexicans to have sex with. Back on the Judith Prosperous, Skully informed the crew that he had found a map to the greatest treasure in the world. But keeping to his promise, he did not tell the crew who gave him the map or what the treasure was. After one week at sea the Judith Prosperous arrived at an island who's name has long been forgotten.

Once on the island, the crew began the long trek to the center of the island, where the treasure was supposed to lie. The whole time they were traveling there was a horrible buzzing sound surrounding them.

"Arggh, what is that horrible noise?" asked Bella Dizzy the Bitter.

"You've asked five times already, said Lurg, "but I was lying the other four times when I said I didn't know."

"Ye don't have to be so mean Lurg," said Audra.

"Aye, I'm sorry Bella Dizzy the Complainer," said Lurg.

"I'll kill ye, ya bastard!" shouted Bella Dizzy, drawing her dagger.

There was a quick whistle and Lurg's cutlass was pressed against Bella's throat.

"Try me wench," said Lurg, his eyes locked on Bella Dizzy.

"Enough," said Skully, "I'm gonna need both of ya to get this treasure, so why don't we all just get along?"

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Now, Bella, we all hear the noise and no one knows what it is, so why not stop....." began Skully.

Skully's eye had widened as he looked past the quarreling pirates. There was a large insect walking towards the crew. It was slightly shorter then a man, just under five feet tall. It looked like a giant praying mantis, but instead of the praying pincers that a mantis has, it had sharp blade like claws. As it moved closer to the crew, it began to make the same horrible buzzing sound that they had been hearing. Suddenly, it let out a screech and rushed the crew. Lurg, sword already drawn, whirled and removed its head from the body, spraying green goo on Bella Dizzy and Skully. A strong smell began to emanate from the corpse of the mantis. As the smell grew stronger, the buzzing surrounding them grew louder.

"I think we're in trouble, said Lurg.

Just then, a swarm of the mantises burst through the trees across the clearing from the pirates. There were hundreds of mantises, more appearing every second.

"RUN!!" screamed Skully, "BACK TO THE SHIP!"

The crew turned and fled, but the mantises chased them, and could move much faster then the pirates. By the time the pirates reached the beach, the mantises where almost on top of them. Lurg turned and began to cut down the mantises as they reached the beach. Lurg was able to slow the mantises enough for the crew to board the Judith Prosperous, but not at cost. As Lurg hacked down another mantis, he turned and began to run towards the ship. He took only four steps before a mantis blade erupted from his chest. Screams arose from the Judith Prosperous as the crew witnessed their first mate and good friend severely wounded. Lurg turned and slashed the head of the mantis that had wounded him, but as he turned to go to the ship, he collapsed in the sand. Hackin' Eve and Audra Bellamy began to descend from the ship to get him, when more mantises began to emerge from the forest.

"We have to leave now," shouted Skully. "If we don't we're all gonna end up like Lurg. He gave us a chance, let's not waste it."

"We can't leave him," shouted Audra, Bella and Hackin' Eve in unison.

"We don't have time to argue, I'm the captain, this is my ship, we're leaving NOW."

The Judith Prosperous sailed away, leaving her first mate on the beach, surrounded by hundreds of the mantis creatures. Lurg watched as his ship sailed away, but soon his eyes closed as darkness overcame him.